My first time meeting you
The ward is still now. All that can be heard is the occasional squeak against the shiny floors- caused by the nurses plimsolls, and the faint murmur of a TV down the hall in another patients room. I sit in my hospital bed having taken a bath, feeling all clean and refreshed, staring down at this pocket sized person- who as yet I do not have a name for. I am struggling you see, to find one that I think accentuates how utterly perfect you are.
This morning at exactly 4:44am you arrived into this world and straight into my heart. The sun had just woken from it’s nights slumber, raising amidst glorious streaks of purple and amber. I looked down at you, my beautiful baby boy, nestled tight in my arms and you made me feel so alive.
I cannot believe how perfectly your tiny pink finger curls around mine. How my arms feel like they were especially made to wrap around your delicate little body. I hold you close to my chest and feel our hearts beat in rhythm. A gentle, light, fragrance radiates from the top of your head, comforting my nostrils, as the pure scent reaches my nose.
I feel like I could hold you forever. You make me feel like I am glowing inside, that the warmth is spreading- dancing from my heart and filling my soul.
Your tiny eyelids flicker, and for a split second I catch a glimpse of your beautiful eyes- One blue, one green. Just like your father had. I look down at your precious little face and feel him here with us both, shinning with immense pride over my shoulder at you my angel.
Tears still seem to escape down my cheeks, even though I must have empted my tear duct's a thousand times over. Your daddy didn’t even get to find out what you were going to be.
“Daddy’s little boy,” that is what he would have called you, “Daddy’s big, brave boy.”
This is our first time together, you and me, out in the world on our own. All the books I studied- cover to cover and all the articles I read, seem irrelevant now.
I did not know it before, but I know it now. We will be ok you and me. We will be ok.